Cleopatra wasn’t just some Egyptian queen sitting pretty in her palace, sipping date wine while ordering a new shipment of eyeliner from the Nile Sephora. Oh no, she was the ultimate power player—the woman knew how to make an entrance, and could navigate politics like a seasoned pro, and keep not one, but two Roman emperors wrapped around her perfectly-manicured finger.
If you want a deep-dive into the birth, life, and suicide of Cleopatra in just under 10 minutes, we’ve got you covered.
She was a legend in her own time and beyond.
So, naturally, I started thinking: if Cleopatra were alive today, what would her TikTok look like? I mean, if the last queen of Egypt had WiFi and a ring light, would she be finessing her way to influencer superstardom? Spoiler alert: absolutely. In fact, she might even have Kim K. sweating bullets.
Cleopatra and modern social media? It’s practically a match made in history. The Ancient Egyptians were communication pros, from their iconic hieroglyphs to their elaborate written language. In many ways, they set the stage for the ways we connect and share today.
I imagine that Cleopatra’s feed would be a perfect blend of political PR and “fleek” eyeliner tutorials. But first things first—Cleopatra wasn’t just a pretty face. Her smarts were as sharp as her cat-eye winged liner (which, she’d probably trademark on day 1 of TikTok). We know she spoke at least nine languages, ran an empire, and used her seductive charm like a weapon. So, it’s safe to say her TikTok would have layers—like her famous cat-eye gaze.
Imagine this: she’d be the OG #bossbabe, mixing in tutorials on ancient makeup techniques (complete with how to get that killer eye look with lead-based eyeliner—but ladies, please, don’t try this at home), with daily power moves, and tips on how to rule an empire with one hand tied behind your back. She’d probably caption her eyeliner videos with something like, “A dark wing for a bold ruler. 👑 #CleopatraLook #WingItLikeAQueen.”
But Cleopatra would also absolutely be using TikTok as her political megaphone. Think of her as the ancient version of a PR guru—throwing shade at her enemies with cryptic TikTok dances (Egyptian-style of course) or dropping some snarky gossip on Octavian with “Did you catch what he said about Egypt? We’ve got the receipts 💅🏽” She’d keep the drama juicy but just classy enough to remind everyone why she’s a queen.
And speaking of dances, I stumbled upon a fascinating example of what Ancient Egyptian music might have sounded like—trust me, it’s a vibe all its own.
There’s no doubt the music would pull everyone in—and naturally, Caesar and Antony would be moving and grooving all over her FYP.
Of course, Cleo was a queen of collaboration with the likes of Julius Caesar, and Marc Antony. So, if she were in the 21st century, she’d be working with every major brand in existence. She’d be one of those influencers who strikes massive deals with beauty brands (Cleopatra x Glossier? Cleopatra x Fenty? Yes, please), but she’d also slip in sponsored posts for luxury travel and high-end lifestyle brands, too. I can see it now: Cleopatra on a private jet to Rome, sipping rosé and using some ancient filter to look “mummified.”
And she’d use every collabs to her advantage. You know she’d have Caesar and Antony on her live streams for some “Q&As” about their diplomatic shenanigans. She’d play it cool, but everyone would know that those live streams were Cleopatra’s way to flex her influence over Rome. “Oh, Caesar? Pff! He’s just a friend. Oh, and by the way, Rome just agreed to pay Egypt a ton in tribute. #QueenMoves.”
After all, Cleopatra was all about her aesthetics, so you can bet her TikTok page would be as lush and opulent as Ancient Egypt itself.
Also, there’s no doubt that Cleopatra would be a hashtag trendsetter with a historical twist. After all, you can’t be an influencer without a winning hashtag game, and Cleopatra would slay that too. I’m picturing everything from #PharaohFinesse to #CleoSlays. Her hashtags wouldn’t just be catchy—they’d be a statement. She’d be schooling her followers on how to reign over your life like the queen you are, and you just know her catchphrases would go viral. Imagine it: “When life gives you pyramids, build your empire. #CleopatraWisdom.”
But what about her DM game? I’d guess that Cleopatra would skillfully slide into key players DMs to keep the gossip river flowing. Subtle, seductive, strategic—that’s Cleopatra. A whole empire could rise or fall based on her latest post.
The truth is that Cleopatra wouldn’t just be on TikTok—she would be TikTok. She had the charisma, looks, brains, and an unapologetic thirst for power. Cleopatra didn’t just want to rule Egypt—she wanted to own the entire narrative, lock, stock and barrel. And in today’s world of likes, follows, and shares, she’d probably be a viral sensation. And trust me, she’d do it all while wearing flawless gold jewelry and giving you a makeup tutorial that would make even the Kardashians rethink their lives.
And if you’re curious about what the Queen of the Nile might have actually looked like both then and in modern-times, historians and artists have teamed up to create this modern interpretation of her likeness.
What a beauty, right?
So, the next time you find yourself scrolling through TikTok, take a moment to imagine Cleopatra popping up in your feed, reminding you who the real queen is—and don’t forget to hit like, because if history’s taught us anything, you don’t say no to the Queen of The Nile.
Till next time, be wickedly wonderful.